I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
