Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
