was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
