It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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