Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
