Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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