hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
