so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
