Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
