normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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