im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
