so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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