I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
