It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
