I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
