I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
