i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize