Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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