I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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