i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
