it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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