cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
