My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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