she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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