i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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