I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
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