my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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