But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
