no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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