So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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