Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
