Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
