How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
