I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize