Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Randomize
