It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
