Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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