Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
