we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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