Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
