I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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