if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
