The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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