you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
