if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
