I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
