im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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