Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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