I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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