I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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