At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
