He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize