Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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