i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
wow bdsm is so cute
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
