Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
