Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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