we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Sorry about my life...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
