he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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