That's intense
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
