i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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