so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
