Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
