Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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