I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
