Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
