"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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