there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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