I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
