So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
